Rikkaidai Rule-Book
by Crossroader32
Summary: Kirihara Akaya takes it upon himself to complete the daunting task of enlightening others on how to survive Rikkaidai with a limited number of therapy sessions and trips to the health office. A series of ficlets and drabbles originally made for a trade on Quizilla.
1. Chapter 1

**Rule 1: Always Listen to Yukimura-buchou**

Kirihara Akaya had no doubt in his mind that this should be rule number one. Yukimura-buchou's word was law for a good reason. Kirihara nodded to himself in thought. Yukimura was a very good captain. And he always had good advice. For instance this incident. . .

.~.~.~.

"Yukimura-buchou! Yukimura-buchou!" Kirihara cried, flailing his arms around wildly as he ran towards his serene captain.

"Yes Akaya?" Yukimura turned to his panicking junior his normal slight smile in place.

Kirihara looked up at his captain, sea-green eyes misting over, and a pout in place on is lips, all tied together in an irresistible kicked-puppy-dog-left-left-out-in-the-rain look. Sniffling slightly to enhance the mood Kirihara began his woeful tale. "N-niou-senpai, tricked me into stealing Sanada-fukubuchou's cap and throw it in the dumpster and then made me do a bunch of English homework because he told me that English was all of my classes!"

Absolutely taken by the expression, Yukimura's smile went from sweet to ever so slightly sadistic. "Aww~, Niou was being evil again? Don't worry I'll deal with him accordingly. Just tell him to go to room 3-E tomorrow. I assume this is why you were late all last week, I'll let you off this time."

Still in his sulky mood Kirihara looked up from his shoes to meet the gentle gaze of his captain. "R-really?" he sniffed. At Yukimura's nod his eyes brightened and he turned away and skipped off; presumably to find Niou.

Yukimura couldn't help but chuckle at the second-year's mood swing, and how cute he was being. The Demigod's own mood was lightened considerably by the fact that Niou was going to be "dealt" with. Oh, how he enjoyed tormenting people.

And dealt with Niou was.

As it oh-so-coincidentally turned out, 3-E was a popular meeting room for fangirls. The unfortunate Trickster happened to come across that very room the very day a huge meeting was scheduled. Needless to say Niou wasn't at tennis practice that afternoon.

Yep, Yukimura was definitely Kirihara's hero for that.

.~.~.~.

As good as Yukimura was, Kirihara couldn't help but question what was going on in his head when he came up with some of his…stranger ideas.

.~.~.~.

It was the day that the roles would be announced for the play the Rikkaidai tennis club would be putting on. Everyone was anxiously waiting for their names and what they would be.

"Jackal is the horse, Yagyuu and Marui will be the evil step-sisters, Niou is the magic mushroom man, Sanada is the Prince, Yanagi is the back-up role of the side characters, and I will be the director," Yukimura rattled off from the list in his hand.

Kirihara tilted his head in confusion, "Um, Yukimura-buchou what am I?"

A devious glint was in Yukimura's eyes as he answered his kouhai. "I'm glad you asked Akaya! You are going to be the star of the show, Cinderella!"

Kirihara gawked, "I'm, what?" he managed to rasp out before blanking out again. Yukimura looked absolutely gleeful at the Demon's expression.

"You're Cinderella brat. Get it through your thick skull," Niou said slapping Kirihara upside the head.

That snapped Kirihara out of his dazed state, "Hey! What was that for Niou-senpai?!" he snapped. "And why do _I_ have to play Cinderella? I'm not a girl!"

Marui popped a green bubble before snorting, "Neither are we seaweed-head," he said gesturing to himself and Yagyuu. "But I'm just genius enough to play the opposite gender."

"Yeah, self-proclaimed genius," Kirihara muttered, "Anyway I still don't get why I have to do it. Just get another club member to do it!"

Yukimura looked crestfallen at Kirihara's statement. "But I designed the dress specifically for _you_ Akaya."

One look was all it took. "Fine I'll do it," Kirihara conceded. As damaging as it was to his manly pride there was no winning against Yukimura-buchou. This was especially true when there was an irate Emperor ready with a "Tarundoru!" slap, and twenty hundred laps for you right behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Rule 2: Never Lend Money to Marui-senpai, you won't get it back.**

"Marui-senpai! Where's my thousand yen you owe me?!" Kirihara yelled out to the red haired tensai who was casually sauntering along.

"Hmm?" Marui turned to the approaching junior, "Oh that. Sorry I used the last of my allowance to pay off the hardware store we wrecked when we followed Niou. And I don't get my next allowance until next week."

Kirihara sighed audibly, he had forgotten about that. "Fine, pay me back first thing next week then!"

The next week came and Kirihara still didn't have his thousand yen. So being the impatient person he is, he stormed up to his 'genius' senpai and glared at him. "Where's my yen?!"

Marui glanced at the green eyed second-year confused before realization dawned on him. "Ooooh, that. Well my parents made me take my little brothers out yesterday and I bought a few things for myself so I don't have any left. Sorry," he said not sounding very sorry.

"But you told me you'd pay me back this week!" Kirihara fumed. "I better get my yen back next week or I'm telling Yukimura-buchou on you!"

Chuckling slightly Marui jogged back to practice throwing a reply over his shoulder, "Yeah, yeah, next week seaweed-head!"

"Oh, he better pay me back," Kirihara muttered before kicking the ground and turning on his heel to walk away.

By the time next week rolled around Kirihara had gotten so fed up he went to Yukimura-buchou and told him of Marui's yen stealing ways. Yukimura had addressed him with a smile and an "I'll handle it."

Thus, Kirihara was waiting around to see the fruits of his tattling.

The next day Marui came to practice completely out of it and Jackal looked positively mirthful. Bouncing up to Marui happily thinking he was going to get his yen back Kirihara grinned at his senpai, "So Marui-senpai do you have my yen?"

Marui instantly slipped up and missed his serve and spun around, "Huh? What? Noooo. I don't have anything else! Yukimura-buchou! I paid Jackal back okay!" He swatted at the air wildly before taking off in a run.

"Tarundoru!" Sanada yelled to Marui who was making a beeline for the gates.

Kirihara was understandably lost. So there he stayed blinking while trying to process what had just happened. Coming to the conclusion that Yukimura-buchou's methods might have worked a little _too_ well he frowned. He still hasn't gotten his thousand yen back! Glancing to where Yukimura was he debated with himself whether or not to ask if he could get his yen back. But upon seeing Yukimura's content smile he promptly decided that a thousand yen really wasn't worth it.

_Extended Ending:_

Kirhara dug through his bag trying to find his wallet. He had just finished up an extra training session and was in need of water. So coming across a vending machine Kirihara had stopped and started picking through his bag.

Finally finding it Kirihara let out a small, "Yes!" before opening it. He looked in and only found a small scrap of white paper. Unfolding it he quickly scanned through the kanji. The note read '_Sorry seaweed-head, had to borrow some yen to pay back Jackal. I'll pay you back next month. =p.' _

The second-year ace's eye twitched. "Marui-senpai," he muttered darkly clenching his fist while veins popped up on his head. Oh, this was _so_ going in the book.


	3. Chapter 3

**Rule 3: Don't send people to the hospital unless Yukimura-buchou approves**

Yukimura looked around the tennis courts for Kirihara. He was supposed to meet him ten minutes ago, though he did know of his kouhai's sometimes erratic ways. Finally spotting the seaweed haired Demon he smiled a bit.

Kirihara panted, trying to catch his breath, "I'm sorry Yukimura-buchou! Sanada made me run an extra twenty laps."

"That's quite alright Akaya," Yukimura smiled down pleasantly at him, "But we do need to discuss a matter of great importance."

"Eh? And that would be?" Kirihara prodded curious to this 'matter of great importance'.

"Ah, well you see Akaya it's your tennis style," Yukimura said gently.

Kirihara cocked his head, "What about it?"

Pursing his lips before responding Yukimura said, "I understand that is your personal preference. But you need to tone down the violence. The club's medical bills are racking up and parents are taking their children out of the tennis club due to injury. Thus, the club is becoming smaller and we as Rikkaidai cannot allow that. So no more sending people to the hospital okay?"

Blinking his jade eyes Kirhara looked confused, "But I only sent that guy to the hospital because he said he wanted to take over when you were in the hospital."

Eyes flashing dangerously Yukimura smiled lightly, "Is that so? In that case please just consult me before your matches so I can tell you whether or not to hold back."

Still not quite understanding Kirihara nodded dumbly before going back to practice before Sanada could get after him for slacking off.


	4. Chapter 4

**Rule 4: Marui-senpai's genius plans are not genius, just a waste of time**

"Senpai, remind me again why are we sneaking into Niou-senpai's house?" Kirhara asked the red-head in front of him. He really didn't want to be here. After all Marui _was_ one of the main reasons he got in trouble a lot.

Blowing a green bubble and popping it before replying Marui turned to his kouhai exasperatingly. "We've gone over this before. Niou is holding my poor innocent cake hostage so we have to sneak in and save her!"

Kirihara raised an eyebrow not knowing to be more disturbed by what could be in Niou's house or the fact that Marui had just personified his cake (as a female no less). Deciding just to scrap those thoughts before he freaked himself out Kirihara frowned at his short senpai. "Why didn't you ask Jackal to come with you?"

Marui huffed and turned back to the house, "Well after the hardware store incident Jackal told me that he was never helping with any of my genius plans anymore. I don't get it my plans are _genius_ after all!" At this Marui gestured to his head.

"Right," the seaweed haired boy said dryly. "Your plans are genius and I suppose that's why we're sneaking into the Trickster's house in an attempt to save your cake?" He asked not really expecting a serious answer.

"Right-o!" Marui grinned tossing up a 'V' sign before dashing into the Niou family yard and climbing up to a windowsill. Kirihara rolled his eyes. He shouldn't have got his hopes up. Letting out a sigh of remorse before reluctantly following his upperclassman through the window Kirihara wondered if _he_ was really the baby of the team (oddly enough Marui was technically the oldest, even if he didn't act it).

Landing not-so-gracefully on his bum Kirihara stood up beside the red haired tensai muttering to himself. "Marui-senpai, hurry up and get your cake. I don't want to be in Niou-senpai's house for longer than I have to."

"Yeah, whatever Akaya, we need to find the kitchen," Marui directed to his unwilling companion.

"Why the kitchen?" Kirihara asked rubbing his sore behind and glaring at the screwdriver lying on the floor. A very _familiar_ screwdriver at that. That screwdriver was the reason he missed out on his favorite show.

Marui sighed exasperatingly yet again, "Because the kitchen is _obviously_ where you store cake! Stolen or not." The red-head stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"But what if Niou-senpai ate your cake already?" Kirihara pointed out, oddly thoughtful.

"Don't say such things!" Marui gasped dramatically. "And I think I found the kitchen. Onward to victory seaweed-head!" he cried dashing off to the entrance of the kitchen.

Kirihara shook his head before following Marui into the kitchen. His senpai were really weird sometimes. But they're Rikkaidai, it's to be expected. Not that Kirihara himself could talk about them like _he_ wasn't weird.

"Ah-ha!" Marui cried out in victory, "Found it!" he pointed to the fridge which had a 'Do not eat cake inside' note taped on the door. Completely disregarding the huge clue not to open the door staring right in front of him, Marui grinned and came closer to the door.

As Marui bent down to open the door Kirihara reached out and grabbed his wrist. "Senpai are you sure you want to do this?" he questioned oddly serious.

"Duh! Let go of my wrist Akaya," Marui said shaking him off.

"But still," Kirihara muttered, "this _is_ Niou-senpai's house. What if it's rigged?" Again sounding strangely intelligent.

Marui rolled his eyes while popping yet another green bubble. "Seriously Akaya? I doubt Niou has his frickin' _house_ rigged. I mean what if his parents got caught in one of them?" Opening the door and eyes lighting up with glee, Marui nearly started drooling over his cake before. . .

_Splat!_

Both Marui and Kirihara's faces were simultaneously coated in marbled cake, strawberries, and white frosting. The familiar devious cackling of a certain silver-haired teammate of theirs met the two intruders' ears. "Hahahahahah! Oh my-. Hahahaha! You guys look absolutely ridiculous!" Niou laughed as he came out from his hiding place in a shadowed corner. Marui and Kirihara could do nothing but blink dumbly as Niou snapped several pictures and snickered to himself in accomplishment.

Finally getting his senses back Kirihara blinked once before mustering up the loudest scream he could.

The yell of "Niou-senpaiiiiiii!" could be heard all the way across the city.

It was a miracle that the neighbors didn't call the authorities from the screams and laughter coming from the Niou household. Then again Niou never called them to report his teammates breaking and entering. I suppose few things could be scarier than an angry Sanada and Yukimura.


	5. Chapter 5

**Rule 5: Never Trust Niou-senpai, or Yagyuu-senpai because it might be Niou-senpai in disguise**

If there was one senpai Kirihara learned to never trust, it was Niou. The Trickster had pranked the poor seaweed-head one too many times for his liking. Kirihara had failed tests, and gotten the strangest looks. All because of Niou.

In the course of learning about not trusting Niou, Kirihara sadly realized the Gentleman Yagyuu was not to be trusted either. Again, this was all Niou's fault. Poor, poor, Kirihara learned this the hard way when Yagyuu had told him that in English, the verbs _always_ were before nouns, and that adjectives were the same as adverbs. And that sulfuric acid works wonders on dirty desks. Needless to say both Kirihara and his grades suffered.

And to think that Kirihara still helped Niou, well usually because he was black-mailed; but that's beside the point!

Anyway, one day Kirihara decided to complain to his buchou about Niou's unorthodox methods. Writing a letter to voice his complaints should Yukimura be in a sadistic mood or Sanada was with him, the ignorant second year jogged to the clubroom.

Upon arrival he was met with only an empty room, void of all life. He sighed to himself did Lady Luck really hate him _that_ much? With the decision to simply leave it where anyone had access to he left it on the table and slipped back into practice.

His reply was quick, Kirihara soon learned that a certain bubble blower had picked up his note and showed it to Niou. Thus, Kirihara found himself condemned to two weeks of cleaning the courts _all by himself_. Apparently Yukimura was in on this too and agreed for his own amusement. Sanada thought it would be good discipline and Yanagi was in it for the data.

The lesson Kirihara learned in this turn of events was simple: He couldn't trust _any_ of his teammates that had any form of friendship with Niou.

* * *

**A/N: I am very sorry for not updating this! As compensation I'm doing a double update for this. As a heads up it might take me longer to get chapters out for all my stories, so yeah.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Rule 6: If Yukimura-buchou approves so does Sanada-fukubuchou, even if he says different**

Marui Bunta was thoroughly confused. All day Kirihara had been muttering to himself, randomly bursting into song, and breaking into what could be considered dancing but could also be thought of him having ants in his pants. Understandably, Marui was very confused. He didn't admit it, no he was a _genius._ As a genius Marui had a reputation to keep up, which meant he knew exactly what was going on with his kouhai. Even if he didn't.

This is why Marui found himself doing nothing but stare at the pacing seaweed head in front of him. Finally at his wits end he raised up an eyebrow and muttered out a, "What the heck is up with you?" directed to the preoccupied Kirihara who turned and stopped at the sound of his senpai's voice.

Blinking Kirihara tilted his head in thought before having a light-bulb moment and then snapping. "There is nothing wrong with me!" he exclaimed and then "Humph-ed" crossing his arms in the process. "If you must know Fukubuchou and Yanagi-senpai told me to improve my _coordination and grace_," he said sounding slightly exasperated. "So Yukimura-buchou and Niou-senpai suggested I try rhythmic gymnastics or dancing! And told me to try singing too because it's supposed to make things flashier and make people think I am very talented!" The now bubbling seaweed head piped up enthusiastically.

At this point the volley tensai didn't know which he wanted to do more. Crack up at the utter hilarity of it all, or face-fault at the utter stupidity of it all. Really, by this time Marui should have been used to Kirihara's naivety and Yukimura and Niou's schemes (not like _he_ was exempt from his fair share of tormenting the victimized second-year). Marui (being an absolute _genius) _being Marui, settled for falling on the ground in a heap of laughter. Completely oblivious to the death-stare (one that was probably learned from both Sanada and Yukimura) he was receiving from the Second-Year Ace. "Marui-_senpai_ it's not funny! Not like you could do any better!" Kirihara jutted out his bottom lip in a childlike pout.

This made the sweet-toothed third-year laugh even harder. "Hahaha! Oh Akaya-snort, you idiot! Giggle, Music is one of my-hahaha-best classes!" he gasped out between snorts, giggles, and laughs.

"Oh," Kirihara had a glazed out look in his eyes feeling quite dumb. "But still! Yukimura-buchou said that it would help so there!" he snapped.

Somehow Marui couldn't shake the feeling that Yukimura was doing this for his own amusement, with Niou adding into the plot. "Does fukubuchou know about this?" he asked, Sanada certainly wouldn't allow a Rikkai regular to prance around and sing in a field of flowers (technically the tennis courts, but then again this is Marui's mind).

"Know about what?" a stern voice rang out from behind the two regulars.

Whipping around the duo stuttered out a reply in unison, "S-sanada-fukubuchou!" and thought _"Stop popping out of nowhere dang it!"_ in unison.

Sanada gave them a deadpan look, it was obvious he was waiting for an answer to his previously voiced question. Should it not be answered, the backhand was coming out.

The two regulars shook in fear. Deciding to save his own hide Marui jabbed Kirihara in the ribs with his elbow a twitchy smile on his face, "Go on Akaya tell fukubuchou what you were telling me."

Kirihara gave his senpai a scathing glare before turning to Sanada and gulping, "Ehh, I'mimprovingmycoordinationandgracebydancingandsing ing!" he babbled incoherently.

Marui promptly slapped his forehead and kicked Kirihara in the shin when Sanada looked highly un-amused. Kirihara cursed and grabbed his leg where Marui had kicked him, jumping on one leg and _also_ looking highly un-amused. The volley tensai shrugged and gave a "What can you do?" glance to the hopping second year.

Sanada pinched the bridge of his nose, really, the things he had to put up with as the Rikkaidai team's fukubuchou. "Akaya, explain again, this time _with spaces_ _between your words_."

Taking a deep breath Kirihara repeated himself once again, "I'm improving my coordination and grace by dancing and singing."

"That is not proper Rikkaidai beha-!" Sanada was cut short by a cold aura coming up to them.

"I don't see what's wrong with it," Yukimura's sickly sweet voice cut in as he smiled serenely at the fukubuchou.

"B-buchou!" Kirihara and Marui exclaimed in unison.

Still smiling Yukimura continued on, "I was the one to suggest it, are you questioning my competency as captain of this team?"

"No," was Sanada's simple answer before he turned on his heel and walked away, presumably to bark at some first-years.

Turning to Kirihara, Yukimura set his gaze, "Continue with your practice Akaya, you too Marui."

"H-hai buchou!"

It sure does seem like _everything_ is okay when Yukimura Seiichi deems it so. I bet the Rikkai team is glad he didn't have them fangirl surf this time!


	7. Chapter 7

**Rule 7: Never suggest therapy, **_**Never**_

The day had been a nice and sunny one when Kirihara made the seemingly harmless offhand comment.

"Have you guys ever thought we should get therapy?" the jade eyed boy questioned his senpai, oblivious to their slight darker change of facial expression and kept going, "I mean, since were always so dysfunctional and stuff."

"_Akaya,"_ Yukimura's voice was sickeningly sweet, "we do not need therapy so please drop the subject."

And drop the subject he did, like a hot potato in fact. Though Kirihara didn't think much of it the severe and quick weather change from nice and sunny to dreary, rainy, and depressing should have been the first sign that he had just unleashed Hell on Earth for himself.

.~.~.~.

The second sign came in his first class, somehow he had managed to forget his homework. This got him a detention. Kirihara wrote it off as per usual.

.~.~.~.

The third sign came in his next two classes, he had been apparently rude to his sensei, giving him another two detentions. Kirihara blamed it on the rain.

.~.~.~.

The fourth sign was in his Chemistry class, due to a mix-up Kirihara ended up with the wrong materials and measurements. Because of this it exploded in his face and covered his uniform in goo. He shrugged it off as bad luck.

.~.~.~.

The fifth came during lunch. As Kirihara ate his bento something felt off to him. Not ten minutes later he was in the bathroom for the rest of the period. Kirihara blamed it on one of Niou's pranks.

.~.~.~.

The sixth was as he was on his way to practice. He managed to slip and fall into a puddle, soaking his bag and he fell underneath a drainage pipe, which just so happened to let out its contents at that moment dousing him. Now he was wondering if someone up there had it out for him.

.~.~.~.

The final sign came during practice. Kirihara, soaking and irritated managed to piss off an unusually irate Sanada. Who ordered him to run until he dropped, just as it was starting to rain again. As Kirihara ran over the slippery ground he wondered if it was legal to order someone to run so much when it was raining hard and everyone else was inside. Another thought crossed his mind and he was sure of it.

The Rikkaidai regulars had cursed him by some devious means. All because of one little comment.


End file.
